


Jumper Destruction

by nerdprincess73



Series: 30 Day OTP Challenge [8]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Experiments, Irene's only mentioned, M/M, Shopping, jumper destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:17:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2157123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdprincess73/pseuds/nerdprincess73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock hates shopping, but he hates John's clothing more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jumper Destruction

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for tumblr user bestcoastisthewestcoast, who has gotten me back on track after a few days off. Thank you. I hope you like it.

One might figure that Sherlock hates shopping. One would be correct. Sherlock hates shopping for food. So John does it. Sherlock hates shopping for gifts, so John does that too.

What one doesn’t know, and likely would never guess, is that one of the few things Sherlock hates more than shopping is how John dresses.

Oh, jumpers and jeans and his cheap jacket are fine when he has work at the surgery. Or when they’re on cases, and his clothes are likely to be destroyed. Sherlock has on more than one occasion set up a scenario where John would have to crawl through something disgusting in the hopes he’d just throw out the garments in question.

Only the clothing covered in decomposing human remains or tar had been deemed unwearable by John. Though a pair of shoes that he’d worn through human waste were also thrown out. Most likely from the difficult nature of cleaning them.

Sherlock had since invented a number of ‘experiments’ designed around destroying as many offensive articles of clothing as possible.

The important thing was, John’s clothes were horrible, and should never ever be worn when they were out on a date. Or on a higher end case. Or ever. They were truly offensive.

 

As Sherlock sat at the table, destroying jumper #4 and socks #6 and 7 (he’d accidentally destroyed two mismatched socks, and their partners had to go), John came from upstairs.

He stopped upon seeing Sherlock’s experiment. “What’s that?” he said.

“Experiment,” Sherlock said. He cut off another bit of the hideous jumper to dip in acid.

He saw John’s hand start working into a fist. After a moment, John sighed. “Give me your card,” he said.

That was a surprise. “What?”

“You keep using my clothes for experiments. You’re going to buy me something to wear,” John said. “Give me your card.”

Sherlock observed John for a moment. His deductions didn’t tell him anything useful right now. There was the usual, doctor, soldier, etc. Then there was the biscuits he’d had with his tea, and the boring day at the surgery. Nothing that would tell him what to do.

It would be safer to agree.

But Sherlock did not want John buying more hideous jumpers to wear when they went out.

Then the answer came to him. “I will come with you,” he said.

 

After half an hour, John wanted to pull his hair out. Sherlock had dragged him to a shop where the cost of one pair of trousers would pay half the month’s rent, and had begun shoving clothes at him to try on. And once Sherlock had the proper size (he’d been within one size, and that was because John’s clothes were hideous and fit improperly. And when John’s clothes were off, Sherlock was far too busy to figure out his measurements), he was simply collecting items.

They had been to two shops, and John had learned not to listen when Sherlock paid.

The numbers would make him cry.

From what he’d seen, Sherlock had purchased trousers, shirts, jumpers, a couple of blazers, and a pair of shoes. And he’d watched as Sherlock bought several pairs of particularly posh pants, one pair in a shocking shade of red.

As Sherlock dragged him toward a third shop, John halted in his tracks. “Sherlock, what is going on?”

“We are shopping, John,” Sherlock said impatiently. “Come along.”

“Have you been destroying my clothes on purpose?”

Sherlock didn’t answer.

“So you could replace them with your fancy posh clothes?”

Sherlock shook his head. “Of course not. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I only realized today that I should replace your hideous jumpers with more appropriate clothes.”

“What is your problem with my clothes?” John demanded.

“They are hideous and unflattering, and do not deserve the honor of adorning your body,” Sherlock said. “We have more shops to visit.”

John subsided, stunned into silence, and followed as Sherlock marched on.

While he watched Sherlock select more clothes, John finally reacted, with a devious smile. “Sherlock, when you’re done dressing me, there is one other shop we should visit… Irene recommended it to me…”

 

* * *

 

 

Special thanks to tumblr user [bestcoastisthewestcoast](http://bestcoastisthewestcoast.tumblr.com/), who gave me a nudge to continue this challenge. Thank you so much. 


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